Friday, April 2, 2010
THE WORST 3D EVER: CLASH OF THE TITANS REVIEW
CLASH OF THE TITANS *3D* (D)
To start off, you must understand that I saw this movie in 3D, which absolutely none of you should do (thankfully my showing was free). DO NOT GO SEE CLASH OF THE TITANS IN 3D! Warner Brothers does NOT deserve your hard earned extra three dollars. As the audience, you have a voice in saying that pumping out crappy 3D like this will not stand. The public should not have to pay the same price for the amazing work in Avatar and this junk 3D.
I know the grade seems harsh, but this is coming from an all encompassing standpoint for what I saw, which was the 3D version. Had I seen this movie in 2D it would have been closer to a C grade range. Let that be an indicator just how horrible the 3D in this movie is. It is so bad, it pulled down the quality of the movie a full letter grade.
As I stated in my latest Transformers article, Clash of the Titans was not made for 3D screenings like the glory of Avatar. It was converted into 3D by some lame post production process that does not create an immersing experience, but a distracting one. Stop trying to steal three dollars from us Hollywood; because if you continue to churn out 3D crap like this, no one will see your movies in the third dimension.
I was so agitated with grainy sub par 3D, I had to pull the glasses off my eyes several times during the movie due to the deplorable graphics giving me a headache (not to mention the extremely loud non stop action). The fact that the executives from this production approved the final cut of the 3D version boggles my mind. They must have felt that investing the money in the conversion and not using the 3D would have been too much of a waste.
Clash of the Titans is a remake of the same titled 1981 film. The story surrounds Perseus, half man, half god. Perseus decides to take a stand against the gods when they feel slighted by humanity and decide to reign terror down on them. I feel no more need to divulge plot details.
This movie has one strong thing going for it, a dynamite cast. Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Mads Mikkelsen, and two gorgeous females in Gemma Arterton and Alexa Davalos to name a few. Despite this cast oozing with talent, none of these actors were good enough to save this movie from sinking to the depths on the ocean where the gigantic and gruesome Kraken resides.
Neeson as Zeus and Fiennes as Hades provide one of the film's few redeeming features. They provide the most tension and drama in the story, but their scenes are tightly squeezed in between all the action. Their presence is not as strong as it should have been which could have actually made this movie more interesting to follow.
This is the first film from Sam Worthington where I did not enjoy his character or his acting. Critics have bashed his work in Avatar and Terminator: Salvation, but I personally thought he was believable in both of those projects.
In Clash of the Titans, his delivery felt flat and his lines forced. For a demi-god who felt the need to side with man instead of the powerful gods, I never felt inspired to rally around him in his quest to save humanity. He never forms a plausible relationship with his human companions (except one) begging the question: Who cares if they all die but Perseus? We don't ever get to know any of them, so we don't care if they die.
I will throw some love out to Mads Mikkelsen as the only intriguing human character besides the Princess Andromeda (Davalos). He played the commanding soldier helping Perseus on his journey to save mankind and to train (for lack of a better word) him for what is to come.
One thing I absolutely loathe in movies is bad writing. Especially bad writing that does nothing but bridge one action scene to another. Clash of the Titans was full of this type of unintelligent writing. It is almost like the amateur writers thought they could substitute plot and character development for more and more mindless action hoping to woo the audience into adoration for the characters and interest in the plot.
The story is crammed full of one battle after another against new creatures like a pack of scorpions, a man given demonic powers by Hades, Medusa, the Kraken, or little harpies flying about causing dismay. Some of the action in this movie was really good; some of the action was terrible. The standoff between the three witches of fate is an example of the terrible. Apparently, the audience was supposed to take in the action subconsciously in this scene. The images were edited together with such lightning fast pace I literally had no idea what was going on until the action stopped.
The way the stand off with the over-sized scorpions finishes is so moronic I could not stop from shaking my head. The following scorpion scene, has to be one of the dumbest pieces in cinematic history. From then on, I knew I would have a hard time enjoying the rest of this movie.
After battles following battles, little to no dramatic tension, it caused me to become so bored I was desiring the credits like Paris Hilton desires attention. Then, the whole movie builds up to Perseus preventing Hades from releasing the Kraken on the seaside city Argos and killing all its inhabitants including the ravishing Princess Andromeda. Never in my life have I seen a more anti-climatic end to a movie. The beast takes forever to wake up and seems like an impossible foe, and then it is just over. Like I said earlier, this movie has almost no drama or tension filled moments.
Overall, Clash of the Titans would definitely be a much better movie if you don't spend the extra money and just see the standard 2D version. The 3D made me detest the content in this movie more, even though it was no worse than average. The basic story is interesting, the well imagined creatures are menacing and deplorable, and the cast has firepower (but uncharacteristically they don't deliver). Unfortunately, the screenwriters are hacks. They spend almost no time developing the characters, no time actually trying to tell the story, and all their time devising a new opportunity for some action. Oh yea, the 3D makes BattleField Earth look awesome.
If you are a fan of the earlier mentioned cast or mindless action, you may actually enjoy Clash of the Titans. However, any movie-goer looking for a real cinematic experience will not get it here. If you go, DO NOT SEE IT IN 3D!
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