Tuesday, June 8, 2010

DEATHLY HALLOWS TEASER AMONGST MOSTLY GARBAGE


While I rarely would waste time watching the MTV Movie Awards because of how unworthy the actual award recipients are, good things did indeed come from the 2010 ceremony last night (Deathly Hallows teaser). Before I progress to the good elements of the show, I want to once again profess how idiotic this award show is. It shouldn't be called "movie awards," it should be called "movie opinions of teeny boppers." Thing is, if you care about what this demographic thinks about the cinema you most likely contribute nothing to society.

Once again the Twilight juggernaut (Why did I say that?) dominated an awards show that means nothing. In a sense of judging the best movie of the year, I need judges who aren't voting because a werewolf and vampire are hot. This is surely not the case with this awards show. The definition of an average movie, New Moon, dominated what MTV calls a movie award show. They should have the "just kidding" awards and let the fifteen year-olds of America pick the non-deserving winners, and then have people who actually understand good movies pick the "real" awards.


Twilight: New Moon won the Best Picture of the year. Seriously? I have watched Made-for-TV movies better than New Moon. Like I said, this movie is average. Best Picture? Hilarious! If this movie is Best Picture, then Ke$ha is a talented "musician." (Am I allowed to call her that, a musician?) No one can dispute these movies have many females across the nation by their heartstrings; but this movie should only win Best Picture stacked against Twilight, Furry Vengeance, and I Know Who Killed Me.

How about Global Superstar winner and Best Male Performance winner Robert Pattinson? I don't think I can make a joke funny enough to capitalize on this opportunity. Expression-less acting gets rewarded now? Get this kid an acting coach better than DMX so he can actually begin to see from a distance the ability to deserve acting accolades.

The award for Best Female Performance went to the lovely but stale acting Kristen Stewart. I could play Bella better than her. Boom! Alight, not better, but just as good. I get it, chicks dig ripped Lautner and pasty Pattinson. Women think the pair are so hot they two make average movies win awards. But Kristen Stewart? Really? Come on Twilight nation, stop. She is typically not a good actress, especially in the Twilight movies. But yet, she won over Academy Award winner Sandra Bullock? This voting process is truly whack. Hold back your surprise, New Moon also won the Best Kiss Award between Pattinson and Stewart.

My last huge complaint comes from Best Fight winner Ali Larter and Beyonce from the movie Obsessed. I saw Obsessed, and that fight was terrible, or "tuurrible" as Charles Barkley would say. My guess is the fight won because it was between two attractive females, but it was so laughable to watch. The skirmish was so cliche, it was un-entertaining. I hated it personally. It left a sour taste in my mouth and literally made me like the movie less because of it. The dialogue during the fight was especially disgraceful, like the Cleveland Browns roster.


While I bash on the Twilight section of the award ceremony, some winners were actually deserving. Zach Galifianakis won Best Comedic Performance, the enchanting Anna Kendrick took home Best Breakout Star, and the Biggest Badass winner was a man with only one badass name, Rain. This dude's name is Rain, and he destroys fools in Ninja Assassin. If you have not checked this movie out, give it a chance. Rain's martial arts abilities are top tier stuff. Also have to throw some love out to Aziz Ansari who did a good job hosting the show.

The event of the night in my opinion comes from the world premiere of the teaser trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The teaser did not divulge much of the plot line or give too much insight into the story, but many of us know how this epic series ends. The teaser has great visuals from this final chapter but is barely skimming the surface of what is left in the last two movies.

I have watched the teaser multiple times (I'm a little obsessed with Harry Potter), and I must say the producers of these movies have great people creating these trailers. Many of the trailers from past Potter movies, just like this new teaser, have a great quote to finish off the preview which is then overcome with bells chiming out the iconic Harry Potter theme song. Chills, engage.

The first installment of the two part Deathly Hallows drops November 19th, 2010. This is just a teaser. Expect a full length trailer before a Warner Brothers summer blockbuster. I would put money on that movie being Inception. Without further delay, check the Deathly Hallows tease.



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